I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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