were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
