we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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