I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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