Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
