i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
