why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
