: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
