Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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