2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
its liver damage thursday
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
