Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
