Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
