No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
