just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
