Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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