Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
