is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you had me at cake vodka
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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