I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
