Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
