This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
