Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize