I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
