her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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