Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
