there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
