Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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