Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
