is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
