People in love make me want to vomit
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
