i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Enjoy the penises
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
