I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
