I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
