she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
