the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
