btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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