So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
