just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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