sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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