it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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