all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
