theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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