how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
