your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
