I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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