Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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