it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
