actually, I'm a sock model
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
