My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
