Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
