The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
