she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
