I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
